You know you've read
too much uber when...
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1: Your associates talk about Grisham's latest. You talk about the latest Update.

2: You don't get mail. You get list notifications.

3: You just changed your name to your fave uber character's.

4: You've made a tattoo (anywhere) that says "I -heart- (your favorite uber writer)."

5: You always look for those bluest eyes you've ever seen.

6: Your dog is named Dusty. (Your best friend already named hers Chino! Darn it!)

7: You've decided you're a lesbian. (And you're a man IRL!)

8: You're desperately teaching your tongue how to dance. (And practice that in front of the mirror while re-reading the sex scene you first saw that phrase in.)

9: You call your best friend at 4 in the morning, just to announce that your fave uber couple finally got together!

10: You just sent a fan mail to your fave uber writer. (And attached a nude pic of yourself.)