Top Ten Things Overheard In Rome On The Ides Of March

10. "Excuse me, Caesar. Is that a knife in your back, or are you just happy to see us?" - Brutus

9. "Uh...Caesar dear, that Oracle-of-Delphi guy is on the phone again. Should I take a message?" - Portia

8. "You're right, honey. It IS a beautiful day for a picnic! But I think I should stop by the office and pick up a few things first." - Julius Caesar

7. "Hmmm...looks like a clear case of suicide. You're free to go, Senator Kennedy." - Anonymous

6. "We'll NEVER get those stains out of his toga NOW. Way to go, LUNKHEAD!"

5. "Beware the Ides of...hmmm...30 days hath September, April, June, and...oh the heck with it! Just stay home!" - Oracle-o-Delphi

4. "Wolf Blitzer here, and the scene is one of absolute MAYHEM, if you'll pardon the pun." - Wolf Blitzer (CNN News)

3. "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" - Chorus "No-no-NO! The line is 'HAIL CAESAR! HAIL CAESAR!'. I swear you people are dumber than a box of sticks!" - Cecil B. DeMille

2. "XCIX bottles of beer on the wall, XCIX bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, XCIIX bottles of beer on the wall!" - The Triumvirate

1. "OUCH!" - Julius Caesar