QUOTES
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Mel: "Oh, my."

Janice: "Now, that's no way to treat a lady. Run along now, boys. I don't have time to play."

Mel: "I'm Mel Pappas, and I'm looking for Dr. Janice Covington."
Janice: "You're Mel Pappas."
Mel: "Yes, Ma'am."
Janice: "Winner of the 1924 Nobel Prize for anthropology; Dean of the University of South Carolina... Nice try. Professor Pappas died a year ago."

Mel: "Murder?"
Janice: "It sure as hell ain't suicide, sweetheart. Still wanna hang around, Mel Pappas?"

Janice: " 'And everyone heard the battle cry of the fair-haired Xena. Though her dark nemesis fought bravely, she was still no match for our hero!' "
Mel: "Now, wait a minute. Xena was the dark-haired one. The blonde was an imposter named Callisto. Well, it's an easy mistake to make. But the rest goes like this..."

Mel: "Covington, Covington... I don't recall an archaeologist called Co-... Oh, my goodness. You're the daughter of Harry Covington, the-"
Janice: "The graverobber. Yeah, that's what everyone else called him, why not you?"
Mel: "Well, I'm sure it's just an unfair description."
Janice: "Hah! No, it's right on. He'd sell anything he could to the highest bidder. But not for greed. Everything he did was to finance his search for the scrolls. And now that I'm this close to proving his quest wasn't in vain, I'm not about to enlist the aid of some spoiled brat who's trying to live on her father's reputation."
Mel: "Just like you're trying to live down your Daddy's reputation?!"
Janice: "What did you say?"

Jack: "I know you was there all the time. I could have killed you in the blin of an eye."
Janice: "A what?"
Jack: "Blin- blin! Don't you speak English?"

Janice: "You can't decipher it, Smith."
Smythe: "That's Smythe."

Janice: "I'm not interested in your money."
Smythe: "Oh! Come now; -the daughter of Harry Covington not interested in money? Don't make me giggle. I'll pay you 100,000 American dollars."
Janice: "That's a lot of moolah."
Smythe: "Ah."

Jack: "We French make love, not war. But in your cases, I'll make an exception."

Janice: "There are no curses."
Jack: "That is where you are wrong. You see; I, for one, am cursed with a certain personal magnetism. And once, when on a mission to Egypt for the French Secret Service, I came across a curse so horrible, that, um... -only a man of my training and expertise could have faced it... and lived."
Janice: "Wait a minute. I saw that movie."
Jack: "Yes, of course, I must have confused it with my real battle against the supernatural."
Mel: "Excuse me, but; that was a movie, too."
Jack: "Yes, but who do you think gave them the idea?"

Janice: "Sit down and stay out of my way."

Smythe: "Ah- Ah-ah-ah; -rockslide."

Jack: "What did I tell you? This place is cursed."
Janice: "There are no curses. This was obviously a case of dormant embers being hit by oxygen; resulting in spontaneous combustion."

Jack: "What?! Embers don't lie dormant for thousands of years! Obviously, some sort of curse. What are we going to do? I know. We'll stand with our rear ends facing each other. That'd- no. Curses don't know fronts from rears. We'll counter-curse it. You must know some kind of a curse. My grandmother; she was a witch, um... Boil, boil! No. There's no oxygen in here. I can't breathe! I'm- starting to panic uncontrollably!"

Mel: "Shazam!"

Janice: "Of course, I'm a descendant of Xena. You can forget it, Ares! The world doesn't need any more of you."

Ares: "I'll give you a hint; think 'irritating blonde'."

Ares: "The world's become a glorious place. The weapons; more lethal. The people; more hateful. And there's a new leader; -A lot of vision, a lot of potential. His name is- Hitler. With my help, he's gonna make a lot of positive changes."

Janice: "Sayonara, sucker!"

Jack: "Sorry, sweety, I got things. You know- things. Don't say it, baby. You're something else. You're a swell-looking tomato with a nice set of gambs, but baby... I gotta go. Dig?"
Mel: "Yeah, I dig."

Mel: "Well, maybe it's time that we both stepped out into the world and showed them what we can do."
Janice: "Together?"
Mel: "Well, not if you don't want... to."
Janice: "Come on. You can give me a hand."


Ted: "Then they start this chanting, right? Kanda, kanda. I'm not married to her. Kanda, kanda... right? Then this big, worm-eaten, scary dude comes out from behind and goes, 'Rah'!"
Rob: "Done it."